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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29673477">Tiny Colson</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/crashwithcrash/pseuds/crashwithcrash'>crashwithcrash</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Machine Gun Kelly (Musician)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Age Regression/De-Aging, Baby Colson, Crying, Daddy Issues, Daddy Kink, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Headspace, Little Colson, Mommy Kink, No Smut, Uhh it’s really cute, you should read this</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:22:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,918</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29673477</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/crashwithcrash/pseuds/crashwithcrash</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Colson is a little, and Megan is his caregiver. In a world full of fame, that can be pretty scary.</p>
<p>Disclaimer: This contains age regression. If you don’t know what that is, look it up before reading. Also, I am not an age regressor, so some details may be slightly off. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. Simple.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Colson Baker | Machine Gun Kelly/Megan Fox</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Colson's a little?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>After years of hiding it, Colson finally decides to tell Megan about his little secret, no pun intended. It doesn’t really go how he planned, but that’s okay. </p>
<p>Hi! I’m new here, but I thought that little Colson would be the most adorable thing, so here I am!<br/>Please leave comments, and tell me if I could make anything better. Hope you enjoy :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Colson had been wanting to tell Megan about his little space for a while, it was getting to be too much to handle on his own, and he just couldn’t deal with it anymore. It was happening more often, and for longer. Someone was going to catch on at some point. Megan and Colson spent so much time together, so it was hard for him to keep it a secret any longer. He was finally ready to come clean. </p>
<p>They had been dating for around a year, but Colson hadn’t been completely truthful to her. He was a little, and she had no idea. Well... maybe she did. Occasionally he could feel himself slip up in front of her, like that one time she called him her baby boy, and he nearly fell over from how fast he had been plunged into the headspace of a 1 year old. Luckily, he was able to force himself to age up that time, but if it happened again, he wasn’t sure if he could. He decided that he trusted her enough to understand now, and it would be better if he told her. </p>
<p>The reason he had waited for so long to tell her was simply because he was scared. Scared and embarrassed. It was hard for him to accept the fact that he was an age regressor, stemming from the pressure to grow up that was pushed on him as a little kid. His mom left, and his dad wasn’t a great guy, which left him to raise himself, eventually leading him down a path of drugs. Now, it was more about the stress of the whole world watching his every move. It was terrifying, and he needed an escape, that’s where little space came in. He started regressing around 5 years ago, when the spotlight was first shone on him, and now it was worse. He would regress way more often, and into a younger headspace, he hated it. But deep down, he knew he wouldn’t be able to survive without it.</p>
<p>Colson was so secretive about it, and he knew it would go wrong eventually, he was bound to get caught at some point. He usually let himself go when there was no one around, which was rare in a house full of rowdy boys. The middle of the night was his safe space, usually around 5am, when everyone was finally asleep. He could sneak downstairs and make himself a bottle, letting himself be as small as he wanted when he got back to his room, falling asleep with his thumb snug in his mouth. Time to do this was getting more and more rare with Megan spending most nights there, he would break soon if he didn’t do anything, he could feel it.</p>
<p>He decided that it would be better to tell her himself, rather than accidentally get little and have no clue what to do.<br/>Megan was understanding, and he knew that she would be supportive, but he was absolutely terrified. </p>
<p>Sunday was the day. It was a perfect time to tell her, all the boys were going out and Megan was coming over. He was shaking as she texted him that she had arrived, and luckily there wasn’t many people stood outside the house that day. Colson went through his plan one more time before going to open the door: they were going to watch a movie. So he was just going to pause it and ask, “Megan, can we talk for a minute? I need to tell you something.” Then he would tell her. It would be easy peasy...right?</p>
<p>She came inside, and it was mostly normal, except for the strange tension that filled the air. They did everything like usual, asking each other about the past few days in which they hadn’t seen eachother, then they went to sit on the couch, deciding to watch “Jaws”</p>
<p>It must’ve been halfway through the movie before Megan realised Colson was acting....off. He was trembling beside her and she hadn’t even noticed, she felt terrible. Pausing the film, she turned all her attention to him. “Are you okay? You’re shaking bub.” The pet name was not helping him fight the urge to slip, which had already been there, his brain wanting to run away from the stress of the situation. “Uh yeah I’m okay, I think. I just need to tell you something.” Megan was confused, what could he need to tell her that was getting him so worked up? It couldn’t be that bad. “Okay, you can tell me. I promise I won’t judge you if that’s what you’re worried about.”</p>
<p>She always knew exactly what to say, exactly how to make things better, and that’s why he felt so secure around her. He hesitated for a while, it was so much harder to just say it, he wanted to cry. “I don’t know if I can say it.” He whispered, his voice cracking. He was getting really overwhelmed, and he felt tears prick his eyes. Megan moved to pull him against her, holding his head against her chest. Again, she was subconsciously doing exactly what Colson needed, without even knowing. “You don’t have to, okay? I’ll be here anytime you’re ready to say it.” He shook his head. ”No. I really want to, it’s just scary.” She ran her fingers through his short blonde hair, “Well, I love you okay? Nothing could ever change that. I promise”</p>
<p>For some reason, those words hit him like a train, and he burst out sobbing, no longer being able to hold it together. Megan was shocked, not knowing why he seemed so terrified. “Hey, bub. I don’t know what’s going on. You gotta tell me so I can help you. I need to be able to help you.” He continued to cry, stuttering through a sentence. “N-no. You’re gonna hate me.” </p>
<p>“Colson...I could never hate you. I don’t know why you’re so scared. Please let me help you.” He stayed with his face pressed into her neck, scared to face the real world. “I can’t say it.” He sobbed again. She was so confused, he was such a good guy. Unless he had stabbed someone, she wasn’t going to be mad. “You can say it. I’m not here to judge you Colson. I’m just here to love you, and that means loving all of you, okay?” </p>
<p>It took him a few long minutes, the tears never stopping, before he was finally able to get it out. “I’m a....um, a little.” He said it in the tiniest whisper, hiccuping between the words, but Megan caught it. A smile appeared on her face. </p>
<p>“You’re a little?” She asked, she knew the answer was yes, but she wanted him to confirm it. He nodded, “You hate me, don’t you?” Again, a whisper. He was so scared. “No, baby, of course I don’t hate you. I kinda had a feeling you were.” She could hear him take a breath of relief, happy that Megan wasn’t put off by his slightly strange coping mechanism.</p>
<p>“But how? You don’t even know what a little is.” He said, confusion evident. “Of course I know what a little is. I’m a mommy, Colson.” He finally moved from his spot in the crook of her neck, looking up to meet her eyes. “Huh?”</p>
<p>“Yeah baby, I’m a mommy. I had a little in high school. It’s been a while, but yeah, I am.” He was speechless, but it did explain a whole lot. She was such a caring person and she always knew how to make him feel better after a bad day, it made sense. “If you ever get little with me, or need me when you’re small, I’m happy to help you.” Colson’s tears came back again, this time from happiness. “You’re my mommy?” </p>
<p>“Well, I can be. But only if you want me to, okay?” He frantically nodded, slowly feeling himself age down with all the love that he felt. “Mhm, my mommy.” Megan could hear in his voice that he was smaller, all the mommy senses were coming back to her, even after all these years. “Your mommy.”</p>
<p>“How old are you right now, Colson?” He hid his face away again, embarrassed that she could tell that he had slipped so easily. “Don’t get all shy on me, baby. I just need to know so I can help you.” Colson chose not to speak, instead holding up 3 fingers, to show his mental age. “Three? Okay. Can you answer another question for me?” He nodded slightly. “Do you ever get smaller than that?”</p>
<p>“Mhm.” </p>
<p>“You do? How small do you get?” She spoke softly now, knowing he would be more fragile in this mindset.</p>
<p>Colson was embarrassed, he had never told anyone about this, and he wasn’t even that comfortable with it himself. But he could feel himself getting more little, and he knew Megan would need to know. “Tiny baby.” He whimpered, scared of her thinking that that was weird. “Ohh, baby. That’s okay, I don’t mind. You can be as little as you want around me, I’ll always be there to look after you, okay?” </p>
<p>“Love mommy.” Colson whispered, his brain no longer being able to form complete sentences. “I love you too, col, so much.” Megan replied. She had so many questions that she wanted to ask about his headspace, but she knew that now wasn’t the time. She wanted to provide for all his needs, and make him feel as safe as she could, he was her baby boy now. </p>
<p>Deep down Megan had always suspected that he regressed, there was just little signs. For example, she often caught him with his thumb in his mouth, and he would stutter through excuses, none of which made sense. But now she knew that wasn’t the truth. There were other things too, like wearing more childish clothes, or speaking softly. It all added up now. </p>
<p>As she sorted through the masses of thoughts in her head, she realised that Colson was falling asleep on her. His head still rested on her chest, and he looked comfortable, so she didn’t move him. She just pulled out her phone, ready to do some research as he slept on top of her.</p>
<p>——————</p>
<p>A few hours later the boys came home, but Colson still hadn’t woken up, he was still laying on Megan’s chest. They came in, loud and aggressive like usual, but quietened down when they saw him sleeping. </p>
<p>Luckily, by the time Colson woke up, most of them had left the room. Most of them had left the room, the only remaining person was baze. He seemed to be pretty occupied with his phone, but Megan grabbed Colson’s hand and took him out to hallway, just to be sure. “Did you sleep good, bub?” He nodded, his eyes unfocused, he was definitely still little. “Mhm.” She decided that it would be best to take him up to his bedroom, usually no one bothered them in there. </p>
<p>They slowly walked up the stairs and down the corridor, Colson’s room was at the end. He was a little unsteady on his feet, but Megan was surprised that he could walk at all in his tiny mentality. That was one of the questions she wanted to ask him. Once they had made it to the bedroom, she sat him down on the bed, and he curled up in the covers. She walked around to the other side, getting in next to him, and started rubbing circles on his back. “You okay, Colson?” She asked, he had been really quiet for the last few minutes. He didn’t respond for a second, eventually turning over to curl into her, and answering. “scared.”</p>
<p>This broke Megan’s heart, she never wanted him to feel afraid of anything, he deserved to be happy, to be safe. “Why are you scared, baby?” Again, it took him a second to get his answer out, his brain not working as fast as usual. “Rookie, an slim, an baze, an aj.”  </p>
<p>He was afraid of his best friends not accepting him. The people that he had grown up with, became successful with. She understood where that fear came from, sometimes they could be slightly close-minded, but if they didn’t like it, that could literally break him. </p>
<p>“Oh, baby boy. It’s all gonna be okay, I’m sure the boys will be fine with it. And we don’t have to tell them yet, but whenever you’re ready, I’ll be right by your side, okay?” He nodded, again not being very verbal, but Megan didn’t mind.</p>
<p>She was beyond excited for their future, she couldn’t wait to spend the rest of her life with this man. It was a scary industry, but together they would be okay.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Megan’s questions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Megan asks Colson all of her questions from the last chapter.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This just adds on from the last chapter. I wanted to give a little bit of background to how it all started out, before I start the rest of the chapters. From now on there won’t be any certain order to read in, just go for it! I hope you enjoy! </p>
<p>Kudos and comments are appreciated :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Colson woke up out of headspace the next morning, at the big age of 30 years old. He waited patiently for Megan to wake up, but he was anxious about what she was going to think after reflecting on what happened the day before. What if she decided that she didn’t like it anymore? What if she didn’t want to be his mommy now?</p>
<p>She woke up to him turning on music, around 20 minutes later. He had tried to make sure it was quiet enough, but clearly hadn’t done a very good job. “Oh I’m sorry.” He said. Megan just smiled at him, no anger present. “That’s okay. How are you feeling?” He blushed, knowing she meant age-wise. “Uhh...I think I’m big today.” </p>
<p>“Okay, that’s cool. I was wondering if I could ask you some stuff about it? I don’t wanna pressure you at all, but I wanna be the best mommy possible and I know every little is different.”</p>
<p>“No, you can ask me. I don’t mind.”</p>
<p>Before continuing, she gestured for him to come and sit on the bed with her, wanting to be closer. He walked over, and sat right next to her, resting into her side, she then continued to speak. “Okay so, I’m just gonna ask them, but if there’s any you don’t wanna answer, you don’t have to, okay?” He nodded.</p>
<p>“Okay. So first off, you mentioned that you can be a ‘tiny baby’ in headspace,” she started In a soft voice, “so do you know what age that is?”</p>
<p> Colson had a blush coating his cheeks by the end of it, and this was only the first question, he would answer it though. He knew how important it was for Megan to know this stuff. </p>
<p>“Um, I don’t know the exact age, but like maybe around 1ish. I don’t know though, like sometimes if I’m really stressed or overwhelmed it can be younger. Like to the point where I can’t really do anything myself... I don’t know if that’s weird, I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>Megan didn’t ever want Colson to be ashamed of his age regression, it helped him. She wanted to get him to see that it was a good thing, not bad. But clearly he was self conscious about it at the moment.</p>
<p> “Look at me Colson,” she said, guiding his face to look her in the eyes, “that is perfectly fine, okay? I’ll never judge you for this, I’m here to help.” He nodded again, but she could see he wasn’t entirely convinced.</p>
<p>“Can I ask you the next one?”</p>
<p>“Mhm”</p>
<p>“Is there any kind of schedule you have when you’re little? Do you have certain days or times? I just wanna know so I can make sure to be there if you need me at all.”</p>
<p>“Well, I don’t really have certain days, it’s whenever I find time alone really. But it’s been getting more often now, like almost everyday. It really depends though, like sometimes I’ll go weeks without it and then I’ll be small for days on end. It changes.”</p>
<p>Megan nodded along with his words, she felt bad that he had to wait for the boys to leave, or sleep, before he could allow himself to be vulnerable, it was sad that he had to hide this part of him. </p>
<p>“Okay, that makes sense. But you’ll probably be able to be little more often now that I know. We could go to my house if you’d be more comfortable there in headspace?”</p>
<p>“Um, maybe. I wanna be more open and not have to hide it, but also my room is my safe space, I guess, so it would be hard for me to not be here. But if you’re here, I’ll have an excuse to make them leave us alone. And one day I’m gonna tell everyone, anyways, so it won’t matter.” </p>
<p>She smiled at that, happy that he was thinking about telling all the boys. It would be worse for him to keep it a secret forever.</p>
<p>“Alright, can I ask you the next one?” He nodded. “Okay, so yesterday you woke up from your nap, and you were still small. But you walked up here, is there like any reason that you can walk in headspace?”</p>
<p>“Well...I guess I’ve just gotten used to it. I’ve been doing this for years, but i never had anyone to help me. It’s the same with pissing, I can usually get to the bathroom no matter how small I get. I had to keep it a secret so if they ever saw me, or spoke to me small, I had to try to act normal. It was difficult at first but it’s not that bad anymore. I kinda like that I can walk and stuff though, it lets me be independent.”</p>
<p>“I hate that you have to hide it Colson, it makes me sad. You should be able to be open, you will eventually though. We can tell them whenever you’re ready to. Was it like on tour? When you had to hide it?”</p>
<p>“Mhm. Like on the bus it’s so scary when I regress. Everyone is so close and they could catch you whenever because no one really goes to sleep, it’s super hard to be alone.” </p>
<p>“Oh yeah bub, that sounds tough. I have two more questions if that’s okay? The first is: do you want, like, any rules?”</p>
<p>Colson remained silent for a few seconds, he had probably never thought about this before, Megan figured. It was new for him to have someone else know about this. He had always done everything himself.</p>
<p>“Um...I don’t know. I usually get little enough to the point where you wouldn’t have to worry about me being trouble, I usually just watch like cartoons and stuff like that. But I guess we could do some? Like small stuff.”</p>
<p>“That sounds good. I can write a little list after we’re done with this, and you can tell me if those would work for you. Just a couple, though.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, okay. What’s the last question?”</p>
<p>“Oh, yeah. Do you have, or want, any things to use in little space?”</p>
<p>Colson thought that she would think he was weird for this one; he drank out of baby bottles, as a 30 year old. He hated doing it too, but if he didn’t he would spill, and he knew that. But it just felt so gross when he was big, his face flushed as he thought about it. He had to tell her though. It would help.</p>
<p>“Uh...”</p>
<p>“You need to stop being embarrassed, col. I promise I won’t think anything is weird, okay? You’re fine, I love you.”</p>
<p>He nodded, finally forcing himself to say it. “Bottles.” He whispered.</p>
<p>Her heart melted as she imagined him all snuggled up with her, drinking his bottle before falling asleep. He was fucking adorable. “Do you have them? Or do you want them?”</p>
<p>“Uh, well I only have one. But I use it all the time.”</p>
<p>“Okay, I can get you some more. Is there anything else you want?”</p>
<p>“I don’t think so. I’m pretty good with what I’ve got. But knowing you, you’ll buy me fucking everything so...” He laughed slightly at the last part, but he secretly loved how Megan spoiled him.</p>
<p>“Of course I will, I just love you too much.” This put a smile on his face after all the embarrassment. He loved her too, so much.</p>
<p>“Okay that’s it, I think. Do you want me to write out your rules list now?” </p>
<p>“Oh yeah, okay.” </p>
<p>Megan grabbed her phone and opened notes, deciding to just type them out quickly. It only took a minute or two.</p>
<p>Colson’s rules:</p>
<p>1. Always tell mommy if you feel small or want to regress.<br/>2. Don’t keep secrets<br/>3. Always be a good boy<br/>4. Tell mommy if you need help</p>
<p>Once she had finished, she handed them over to Colson, who quickly read through them. Once again, a blush appeared on his face, but he didn’t say anything bad about them. </p>
<p>“Mhm. These are good.”</p>
<p>“Okay. I’ll send them to you.”</p>
<p>——————</p>
<p>As soon as Megan got the chance, she ordered everything she could imagine Colson would like. It wasn’t a whole lot, but that’s only because he said he didn’t want anything. She got some bottles, a couple of pacifiers so he didn’t have to suck his thumb, and some small toys for her house. She couldn’t wait for him to use them. </p>
<p>She felt like this was a big step in their relationship, it opened up a whole new world of each other. She was so thankful that he had told her. She loved her baby boy, and he loved her too.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. “I wanna be little.”</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Colson has been struggling to regress, Megan helps him out. Idk, it’s kinda cute ig.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for all of the support on this so far! I didn’t really think anyone was going to like it, but I was wrong. Tysm!</p><p>Kudos and comments are appreciated :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been around a week since Colson had been even remotely little, the last time being the day he had told Megan about all of it. Megan could see him getting more and more stressed as the days went on, but she didn’t know how to help him.</p><p>She wanted to talk to him, ask him what was going on, but she already had a feeling that she knew. It was the embarrassment. That was probably the only thing making him want to suppress it, she could tell that he hated being vulnerable, especially when there was people around, and that made him hold back.</p><p>She knew it would take a while for him to be comfortable around her in that headspace, due to the fact that he had done it on his own for such a long time. And she didn’t want to push him to regress if he wasn’t ready. But when she could see his mental health decrease so much in such a short amount of time, without that escape, she knew it was time to bring it up.</p><p>But she wasn’t the one to bring it up, he was.</p><p>Colson had been at the studio all day with the band, leaving her all alone at the house. They had asked if she wanted to come with, but she had politely declined, wanting to collect the things she had ordered for Colson. Those had been delivered to her house, which was only around 20 minutes away, and it was the perfect time to go get them. </p><p>She left around 30 minutes after they had, knowing they’d be gone for the most of the day, and drove to her place. The box had been put just inside the front door, so she hung up her keys, and took it into the kitchen. </p><p>She carefully cut open the box, and took out all of the items, laying them out on the island. She had gotten multiple of everything so it could be spread between the two houses. There was 4 bottles, a sippy cup, 4 pacifiers, a dinosaur stuffie, and a tiger stuffy. </p><p>There wasn’t a whole lot, but she knew he would like them, even if he would never admit to it. She separated it into two groups; the ones staying at her house, and the ones she was going to take back to Colson’s. She was taking the majority of it back with her, as she knew that they would be there most of the time. </p><p>Once she had done that, she went up to her room to pack some clothes for the next few days. She figured that if she got Colson to age down, he wasn’t going to want her to leave for a while, so it was just to be on the safe side.</p><p>She grabbed a couple shirts, underwear, and pairs of pants, putting them all in a bag. She then went back downstairs and put the rest of the toys and other stuff in her bag. She wasn’t planning on staying at hers, there was no point, so she grabbed all her stuff and headed back out to the car again. </p><p>Just as she pulled up outside, she got a text notification from Colson. She decided to wait a second to answer, so she got out of her car and walked inside. She carried the bag upstairs, just to make sure no one found it, and put it inside his room. Two more notifications came in quick succession, so she opened her phone to see what was going on.</p><p>~Megan?<br/>~please answer<br/>~I need you</p><p>Her heart dropped, it wasn’t often that he came to her with a problem, he usually kept it all bottled up. She rushed to reply, always being overly protective of him. She didn’t know if is even was something bad yet, he could’ve wanted some food, or something like that. But she had a bad feeling.</p><p>-you okay?<br/>-what’s wrong Colson?</p><p>He started typing immediately, which made her worry more. Colson was always terrible at replying.</p><p>~No<br/>~I wanna come home<br/>~it’s too loud</p><p>-it’s too loud?<br/>-I can come and get you, if you want me to?</p><p>~they invited loads of people<br/>~we’re not even making music anymore. It’s pretty much a party<br/>~I wanna be little</p><p>The last message got her attention, he was clearly not okay if he just openly admitted that to her, after weeks of hiding it away. She sprung up from her seat, and walked straight out of the house for the second time that day, jumping into the car. She quickly typed out a reply.</p><p>-I’m coming </p><p>_______________</p><p>She parked up outside of the studio less than 10 minutes later. There was quite a few other cars there too, which showed he really wasn’t lying about it being crowded. She got out of the car and walked inside, passing the front desk without any hesitation, she had been here countless times. They were always in the same room, so she headed down the corridor towards it.</p><p>It became clear to her that Colson had already left the room, he was stood outside against the wall, and he was shaking. Megan rushed over to him and immediately gave him a hug, he didn’t have that same energy that he usually did, and she could feel him shake in her arms. </p><p>Gently pulled away after a minute, looking up to his face. She watched his lip tremble, and it broke her heart even more. She hugged him again, holding him close and opting to whisper in his ear. “Are you ready to go home?” He nodded slightly, feeling too overwhelmed to talk. “Come on then.” </p><p>She grabbed his hand and they slowly made their way out to the car, she walked him around to the passenger side. Luckily this studio was in a quiet area, so there was no one around to see this. If there was, she could tell it would be a completely different story.</p><p>The drive back was quiet, but there was a tense feeling. The anxiety practically radiated off of Colson, and Megan’s hand on his knee was the only source of comfort he could have for the time being. He was still holding back tears as they walked up the driveway.</p><p>As soon as the door clicked shut, and Colson knew he was away from the prying eyes of la, he broke down.</p><p> Small sniffles turned into tears, and then those tears then turned into full blown sobbing. Megan calmly lead him up the stairs, knowing a fuss would overwhelm him more, and sat him down on the edge of his bed. She stood between his legs, and pulled his head against her chest.</p><p>After a few minutes of gently rocking side to side, he had calmed down a good amount. “I’m sorry.” He finally got out, through gasping for air and hiccuping sobs. The tone to his voice surprised Megan, he still wasn’t little. She had thought that he’d slipped way back in the studio, or at least in the car, but clearly not. It was okay though, it meant she could speak to him.</p><p>“Don’t say sorry, Colson. I promise you there’s nothing to be sorry for. Can you tell me what’s going on though?” He nodded again, his head still against her chest. </p><p>“Um...well. We were fine at the beginning, but then people started inviting friends and it got really crowded and everyone was trying to talk to me.” That wasn’t usually a problem for Colson, but when he was super anxious, it was. That just added to the worry, why hadn’t he regressed yet?</p><p>“I didn’t wanna leave,” he continued, “but I felt like I was gonna cry or something and I was scared.”</p><p>“Oh Colson. You’re okay now though, why are you still crying?”</p><p>“I wanna be small.” His crying was picking back up now. Megan didn’t understand why he couldn’t just get little.</p><p>“You can be small, baby. Why don’t you just let go? I’ll look after you for as long as you need. I promise.”</p><p>He slightly shook his head. “I can’t”</p><p>“Why not? I promise everything’s gonna be just fine.”</p><p>“No...I actually can’t. I’ve been trying to, but it won’t let me. My brain is, like, subconsciously suppressing it, even when I want to be small. I’ve been trying to all week, I just can’t”</p><p>Megan had never seen this happen before, and she was still a tiny bit confused. But she got the main idea of what he was trying to say. He needed her help to regress.</p><p>“Do you need my help?”</p><p>He just nodded again, not speaking, another sign of him trying to be vulnerable. “Okay, baby. I’m gonna help you, but I need to know how. What’s gonna make you feel little, huh?”</p><p>She looked down to his face oh her chest, and saw a blush form after a few seconds. The shame was still a large factor, she just needed him to push through it.”</p><p>“Colson, I need you to tell me, okay? I promise you it’s not weird, you need to stop worrying bub.”</p><p>The tears were still coming, soaking through Megan’s shirt, and all she wanted was to provide that escape for him. After a few more seconds of silence, he finally told her.</p><p>“Bottles.”</p><p>“Okay, do you want me to go make you one? We can come back up here, no ones home though, so it doesn’t really matter.”</p><p>“Up here. But I wanna come with you.”</p><p>“Okay angel. Lets go.”</p><p>She pulled away from him, going over to the bag that she had previously left in the corner. She pulled out the first bottle that she saw, and watched Colson’s face light up when she turned back around.</p><p>“You already got me new ones?” He asked.</p><p>“Yeah, not too many. But I got you a couple things.”</p><p>“Can I see?”</p><p>“Lets go make this first. When we get back you can have a look, okay?”</p><p>“Mhm.”</p><p>She grabbed his hand and they walked back down the stairs. Once they had made it to the kitchen, she unscrewed the lid and went over to the fridge to get out some milk. Colson followed every step she made, standing right behind her as she poured it in. He was clearly very clingy, but Megan loved it. </p><p>“Do you want it warm?” She asked as she screwed the top back on. He nodded, so she walked over to the microwave, starting it for one minute. </p><p>She turned back to Colson, and he was stood right next to her, a blush still on his face. She took his hand in hers again, and he leant over to hide his face in her neck. “You okay?” She asked, her other hand rubbing circles on his back.</p><p>“Tired.” He whispered, she continued rubbing his back until the microwave was done. “Okay baby, it’s all done.” </p><p>They made their way back to Colson’s room, and before anything else, he went back over to the bag. “Can I look now?” He asked, looking to Megan for permission. </p><p>“Go for it.” He took a seat on the floor, and began looking through all of the stuff, taking it out as he went. Megan sat on the edge of the bed, watching closely to see his reactions. </p><p>It only took him a couple minutes to go through it, the last item he pulled out was his dinosaur stuffie. He held it in his hands, gently feeling it’s fur. He was fixated on it, Megan knew he would like it, a smile appeared on her face as she watched him. </p><p>After a second he slowly stood up, stuffie still in hand, and walked over to her, looking bashful. “You ready for your bottle?” She asked. </p><p>“Yes please.” He replied.</p><p>Megan sat up the the bed properly, and patted the spot next to her for Colson to come and lay down. She made sure he was all comfortable, and he wrapped himself around her like a koala, his head resting on her arm.</p><p>She grabbed his bottle from the bedside table, and slowly brought it up to his face. He gently took the nipple in this mouth and started drinking, his eyes flickered closed. His free hand, the one not taken by the dino, tightly held onto Megan’s shirt, and she tried not to coo at the situation.</p><p>He looked absolutely adorable, so much more relaxed than earlier, and Megan was so happy that he was feeling better. He was slowly getting littler in her arms, the comfort and security that he felt with her finally allowing him to let go.</p><p>He was just finishing when Megan realised that he was falling asleep, she gently took the bottle out of his mouth and put it back on the bedside table, admiring the sleepy boy. His grip on her shirt eventually loosened, and that’s when she knew that he was completely out.</p><p>After laying with him for a few minutes, she carefully got out of the bed as to not disturb him. She knew that he really needed the sleep when he didn’t even fuss, he must’ve not slept good the past few nights. She went around the room and tidied it up a little, putting all his little things in a drawer beside his bed so no one would find them.</p><p>One day she knew that there would be toys and bottles scattered all over the house, and no one would care. But today wasn’t that day.</p><p>_______________</p><p>Colson woke up around an hour later, but Megan wasn’t there with him, she had gone to the bathroom. In his tiny mentality, he didn’t understand that she was coming right back, so he started to panic. Tears gathered in his eyes before he could even think, for the 2nd time that day, and his thumb made its way into his mouth.</p><p>He was only alone for maybe three minutes, but to him in his current headspace it felt like hours. When Megan walked back into the room, she found him crying again, with his stuffie clutched in his only free hand. </p><p>It broke her heart that he was so sad, she should’ve realised. She went over to him, taking a pacifier out of the drawer beside him. Before bringing him into another hug, she replaced his thumb with the paci, and he didn’t fuss like with the bottle, being too little to care.</p><p>She climbed into the bed next to him, and pulled him against her, cradling his head in her hands. “You’re okay, baby. You’re okay. I’ve got you.” She whispered to him, trying to provide as much comfort as she could to calm him down.</p><p>She held him like that for a while, not a care in the world other than her little boy. It was nice to have this other form of intimacy with him, as she knew it was super hard for him to show any vulnerability around anyone.</p><p>After a while, Colson’s phone started buzzing in his pocket. She got it out to check for him, knowing he probably wouldn’t see it until the next day, and it could’ve been important. It was just a simple message from rook.</p><p>-Hope you feel better soon bro<br/>-we’re all coming back at about 7</p><p>Colson must’ve told them he felt sick, that explained why no one was asking any questions. It was only around 5:30, so that meant they still had a while before everyone came home, but there isnt really many things you can do with a person who is mentally less than a year old.</p><p>Colson eventually calmed down again, after realising that Megan wasn’t going to leave him all alone, but he kept the paci snug between his lips, already getting attached to it. Megan adored her tiny boy, and she had hardly even gotten to know him yet.</p><p>She couldn’t wait to see where this part of their relationship lead them, it was a whole new world. </p><p>The rest of the day flew by, and the rest of the boys were back before they knew it, but luckily they decided to steer clear of Colson’s room, not knowing if he still didn’t feel good. He had fallen asleep again by 9pm, after Megan made him use the bathroom, and it was a good change from his usual 5am. He really needed the rest, especially after his mental health hadn’t been too good for the week. </p><p>She stayed up a little bit after him, briefly going downstairs to speak to the guys, telling them that Colson had headache, so he went to sleep. They believed her excuse, but it made her think, once again, about how one day everything would be out in the open. She couldn’t wait.</p><p>The future was scary, but exciting. </p><p>Megan fell asleep right next to him, only an hour later, wanting to have as much energy as possible for the next day. Because they were both new to this, anything could happen. She was okay with that though.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Megan’s house pt.1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Idk you’ll have to read ;)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>aaaaa idk why I made this into two parts, but it was taking a longgg time and I didn’t wanna make you wait. I’m sorryyy</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next week went pretty great, mostly due to the fact Colson was getting way more comfortable being little around Megan. She had spent the majority of time with him, cooped up in his room, but she didn’t mind. It was just amazing to see his mental health get so much better after he had regressed. Just seeing him so relaxed and calm while big, opposed to the stressed and anxious version of himself, that’s what made all the struggles worth it.</p>
<p>He was little for around 3 of the five days she was there, and his body and mind were both thanking him for taking a break. He was so used to being completely non-stop and it took its toll eventually. This escape was vital. They again played it off as being sick to the boys and they could both tell that some slight suspicion had been raised, but luckily they chose not to ask. </p>
<p>He had gotten way too attached to his stuffie over those few days, eventually naming it a simple ‘dino.’ And it was a literal obsession, he held it constantly, and would take it everywhere he could, which was mostly the bathroom and downstairs when there was no one there. Megan loved that he had become more confident with her, not being afraid to ask her for things when he needed them.</p>
<p>Their fun had to end eventually, and she had to go back to her house for a couple days, needing to get some work done. It was okay though, Colson had aged up again, and he understood. She didn’t want to leave, she hated it actually, but she had to respond to some people and make some phone calls, she knew it would be easier back at her place.</p>
<p>She had left on the Thursday morning, after Colson had spent 20 minutes convincing her that he would be okay. </p>
<p>She drove home, showered, and then got on with the work right away, wanting to have it done as soon as possible. Everything was fine, and she had finished by the evening, but she decided not to go back to Colson’s house.</p>
<p>She knew that he needed his space, and he would probably be doing some work too. Also, it would give him some time to hangout with the boys, he hadn’t done that for a while. It worried her, leaving him alone, but she knew it was good to do it sometimes, and she could overreact when it came to his safety.</p>
<p>She spent the rest of her evening watching movies and missing her boy, and she went to bed early to make up for lost sleep the week before. It was harder than she imagined looking after a baby, but she adored it really. </p>
<p>_______________</p>
<p>The next morning, Megan was abruptly awoken by her phone ringing beside her. She slowly turned over and took a look at who it was. ‘Colson’ was the name displayed. This was unusual because he never really called her, usually opting to text instead. This worried her slightly, and she tried not to let her mind go too crazy thinking of the worst possible situations he could be in. He would be fine, she convinced herself.</p>
<p>She answered, still groggy from sleep, and what she heard from the other side woke her up pretty damn quickly.</p>
<p>“Mommy.” Colson sobbed through the phone. She could hear from the slight lisp that he had his paci in his mouth, and it broke her heart to hear him like this. He had obviously regressed without her, and she already wouldn’t like that, but when he was clearly so upset about something it made her feel sick to her stomach. He sounded frantic, so she rushed to comfort him.</p>
<p>“I’m here Colson. Breathe for me, okay? I’ve got you, can you tell mommy what’s happening?” </p>
<p>She heard him take a few deep breaths through his nose, his mouth busy with the pacifier. Once he had got some air to his lungs, he attempted to tell her, still lisping and stuttering through his words. </p>
<p>“They, they’re gonna find me mommy. I’m too tiny, what if they come in here? I can’t, I need you.”</p>
<p>If it wasn’t for the situation, she would’ve found this absolutely adorable. His small voice, and him needing her help, so openly asking for her. But clearly this wasn’t in that way, he was panicking about his friends finding him and he wasn’t alright on his own.</p>
<p>“Hey, you’re okay, it’s okay. Look baby, it’s early, alright? You know that they don’t wake up early, they won’t come in. Just calm down bub, it’s all okay.”</p>
<p>“No mommy, they’re gonna find me. Please come and get me, please. I need you.”</p>
<p>She was surprised that he was speaking in such clear sentences, knowing he was tiny and really panicky, it would be hard for him to do. But they had talked about it before, he was good at forcing himself to speak, even in headspace. It broke her heart that he had to do that, but it was also good knowing that they’d always be able to communicate.</p>
<p>“Okay, I’ll come and get you, just give me a second baby. Where are you right now?”</p>
<p>“hiding.”</p>
<p>This broke her heart even more, the fact that he thought that their reactions to him being small would be so bad that he had to hide? It was horrible. Megan knew deep down that the boys would eventually be okay with it, they had been friends for so long that nothing could break that. They were brothers. Big Colson would probably realise that, but right now he was just about the opposite of big, so he didn’t have his thoughts straight.</p>
<p>“Oh, baby boy. Where are you hiding?”</p>
<p>“In-in the bathroom.” He told her. She knew it was always really cold in there, so she wasn’t super happy about that. He was still crying his little heart out, and as Megan spoke to him, she threw on some clothes and shoes ready to go pick him up.</p>
<p>“Hey, it’s too cold in there, okay? Can you go and lay down on your bed for me?”</p>
<p>“No mommy. What if they see me?”</p>
<p>“I promise you they’re not going to. Lay down for me baby, I’m coming right now.” She could hear him move from his spot as she continued to speak, “I’m gonna come get you, and then we can come back here, okay? No one’s gonna see you here.”</p>
<p>“I miss you mommy.” He said, pretty much out of nowhere. It had only been a day and he was already in this state without her. It was clear that he genuinely needed her around, and that felt good for Megan. She felt wanted.</p>
<p>“I miss you too baby boy, I’m coming. Did you get in bed for me?”</p>
<p>“Mhm.”</p>
<p>As they had been speaking she had made her way to the car. She got in, ready to go help her boy. </p>
<p>“Good boy, thank you. Do you want me to stay on the phone while I drive?”</p>
<p>“I’m a good boy?” He asked, completely disregarding her question. That was another thing about little Colson, he was in constant need of praise and reassurance, so he would try to get it wherever he could. It was pretty sad actually, the fact that he had never really had that before, so he was so desperate to get it in little space. Megan was always ready to reassure him whenever he needed.</p>
<p>“You’re such a good boy, Colson. You’re my favourite boy ever, I love you so much. But I need you to answer my question baby, do you want me to stay on the phone?”</p>
<p>“Mhm. It’s too scary.”</p>
<p>“Okay, I’m coming right now. Just try to relax for me baby, you’re still crying. Deep breaths, I’ve got you.”</p>
<p>She put her phone on speaker so she could drive, and turned on the engine. Then she was on her way.</p>
<p>The drive felt longer than usual, probably because she could still hear Colson trying to muffle his crying from the phone. And it physically pained her that she couldn’t do anything at that exact moment.</p>
<p>She was a little bit confused about why this was even happening in the first place. He said he needed her because he thought the guys we’re gonna find him if she wasn’t there, but what would he have done when she didn’t know?</p>
<p>After a minute of thinking, she figured it was because he used to be little in the middle of the night, and right now it was 8am. She felt so bad that he had to go through this, the utter fear in his voice when he first called. She couldn’t wait for everyone to know. Then he wouldn’t have to worry so much.</p>
<p>She had pulled up outside within 20 minutes, a little bit less maybe due to the fact that she had been speeding. She couldn’t help herself, she just wanted to get there and provide that comfort for Colson. After a few minutes of silence, she spoke again.</p>
<p>“Colson, I’m outside. I’m gonna hang up, okay? But I’m right here, I’ll be up there in just a second.”</p>
<p>“O-okay. But you gotta be quick.”</p>
<p>“I’ll be there in less than a minute. Bye baby.”</p>
<p>“Bye mommy.”</p>
<p>She turned off the engine and grabbed her keys, getting out as quickly as possible. She walked up the driveway and unlocked the door, quietly going upstairs as to not disturb anyone sleeping.</p>
<p>She slowly opened the door, and as more of the room came into sight, she saw Colson on the bed. He was laying on his side, facing the door, and she could immediately see the tear tracks on his face. He looked completely exhausted, and as soon as he spotted her, a sob of relief fell from his mouth. </p>
<p>Megan shut the door behind her, and walked straight towards him. She knelt down beside the bed, knowing they would be leaving soon.</p>
<p>“Oh, baby boy.” She started, reaching out her hand to run it through his hair, “you’re okay now. No one’s gonna find you.”</p>
<p>“Mommy” He continued crying.</p>
<p>She didn’t really know what to do, he just wouldn’t calm down. She decided to get him ready to go, knowing he’d probably feel more comfortable out of the house where the fear had started.</p>
<p>“We’re gonna go to mommy’s house. Would you like a cuddle before I get you some clothes?”</p>
<p>“Cuddle mommy.”</p>
<p>“Okay bubba. You’re alright, I’ve got you now.”</p>
<p>She sat down beside him, letting him come to her. It was an awkward position to hug, but Colson was too desperate for one that he couldn’t care less. She held him for a few seconds, gently rubbing his back, and he finally was able to calm down slightly with her touch. It wasn’t a whole lot, but it was a start.</p>
<p>She pulled away after a little bit, ready to get going. “Can you go use the bathroom while I get you some clothes?” </p>
<p>“Mhm.”</p>
<p>He shakily stood up and make his way into the bathroom while she went to his dresser to grab something comfy for him to wear. She chose him some pink sweatpants and a random shirt, it didn’t really matter anyways.</p>
<p>He walked back through a minute later. “Can you come sit down for me?” Megan asked, pointing to the edge of the bed. He nodded and walked over.</p>
<p>Megan dressed him fine, well the bottom half anyways. She tried to put his shirt on, but he held out his hands and gently pushed it away, still wanting to be a good boy. “No mommy.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean Colson? You need to wear a shirt.”</p>
<p>“Uh uh. I don’t want to.”</p>
<p>“Why not, though?”</p>
<p>“I wanna see my colours.” He said, looking down at his chest.</p>
<p>Megan melted. He was so adorable, being too little to understand that he had tattoos, he just thought they were colours and drawings. And he wanted to be able to see them all. He was so goddamn cute.</p>
<p> She nearly let him go without the shirt, but she realised that they had to go out to the car. Instead, she compromised.</p>
<p>“Okay, well you need to wear it now. But when we get to mommy’s house you can take it off and see your colours. Does that work?”</p>
<p>This was a good question apparently, and he took his time in answering, holding out his arms to look at the ‘colours’ on them too. Eventually he nodded, and Megan put his shirt on.</p>
<p>“You ready to go?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>“Good, okay. Can you go get some shoes from the closet? I’m gonna get the rest of your stuff.”</p>
<p>“Which shoes mommy?”</p>
<p>“Can you find your black vans?”</p>
<p>Megan had realised that asking Colson for things in question form worked better. It was another control thing, he didn’t like being told what to do, that came from big Colson, but he would rather do it if he knew it would make his mommy happy. Because she asked, he wanted to.</p>
<p>He went off to the closet, and Megan knew he would want dino and his paci. She had others back at her place, but he had gotten attached to these ones, she could tell he wouldn’t be happy if they weren’t there. </p>
<p>She searched through the messy sheets to find them, knowing he had been with them while they were on the phone. Once she had found them, she put the paci in her pocket, but she didn’t have anywhere to put his stuffie.</p>
<p>She figured it wouldn’t be too obvious, they had a whole lot of friends with young kids, she had 3 of her own. No one would ask any questions.</p>
<p>Colson came back a second later with his shoes. He sat on the floor to try and put them on, but he seemed to be struggling. She went over and quickly untied them for him, helping him get them on his feet. </p>
<p>They were ready to leave in no time, so they quietly opened the door and Megan held his hand as they walked downstairs, and through the front door to the car. </p>
<p>He sat in the the passenger seat next to her and held his dino, cutely humming along to Megan’s playlist. It took a little while to get there, as it was la rush hour, but he was a good boy and they made it eventually.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Megan’s house</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Continuation of the last chapter :)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This took so long again, I’m sorry :/ I’m gonna aim for a chapter a week from now on, but hopefully I’ll make them a little bit longer. Tysm for all the support on this though!</p>
<p>comments are what I live for so ty to the people that do that, ily.</p>
<p>Enjoy ig</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The morning so far had been a struggle, but the car journey seemed to calm Colson down, at least to the point where he had stopped crying.</p>
<p>They arrived at Megan’s house eventually, after all of the previous drama, and slowly made their way inside, Colson holding his stuffie, dino, in one hand and his mommy’s in the other.</p>
<p>His mood seemed to be contradicting itself a little, Megan noticed. He seemed more comfortable to be out of the house, which made sense because none of the boys could find him now, and being with his mommy helped too. But it was almost the opposite effect at the same time, he was out of the his safe space, his room, which made him scared. So she guessed he was a little confused on what to feel.</p>
<p>This presented itself quite obviously. Colson was way bigger than he had been back at his place, and it was unusual for him to be above the age of 1. Megan’s mission for the day was to make him feel as safe as possible so he could be tiny, but only if he wanted to, this bigger headspace could’ve been how he wanted to be. She had to let him control the situation.</p>
<p>They had just walked through the door, and Colson had immediately tried to take his shirt off, wanting to see all of his tattoos, or ‘colours’ as he had started calling them. Of course, being the mental age of a child proved that to be difficult for him. He got stuck.</p>
<p>He stood for a second, while Megan was locking the door, with his head halfway through the hole and his arms bent at weird angles before she noticed.</p>
<p>“Mommy, help. My shirt.”</p>
<p>She laughed slightly at her boy’s antics, going over to help him.</p>
<p>“Come here, silly boy.”</p>
<p>She grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it all the way off, their height difference making it harder than it should’ve been. It didn’t matter though, his smile once he could see all his tattoos was adorable.</p>
<p>“See! look at my colours.” He said, looking down at his chest and holding his arms out for her to see.</p>
<p>“Your colours are beautiful, baby. I love them. Which one’s your favourite?”</p>
<p>“All of them. There’s no best one.”</p>
<p>“That’s a good answer, I like them all too. They’re very pretty.”</p>
<p>“Mhm.”</p>
<p> She realised that they had been stood in the hallway for way longer than they needed to be. Grabbing his shirt, she took a few steps towards the living room, turning back to make sure he was coming.</p>
<p>“Come on, let’s go sit down.”</p>
<p>They walked through together, and sat down on the couch. The sun filtered through all the windows, and Megan got distracted for a second by how pretty Colson looked in the light, his eyes scanning around the new environment, momentarily stopping on anything his little brain found interesting. His innocence was adorable.</p>
<p>“What do you wanna do? </p>
<p>Megan always asked Colson what he wanted to do when he was little, she never chose for him. She wanted him to enjoy his headspace as much as he could, so she wanted him to make those simple decisions by himself. It helped him relax more when he had control, and that was the main aim in the first place.</p>
<p>“Cuddles?”</p>
<p>It seemed that Megan’s heart would never get over little Colson, or big Colson if she was being honest. He was just the sweetest, cutest baby ever, and she really loved that he had let her in on this coping mechanism. She felt honoured that he trusted her enough to do that. </p>
<p>“We can cuddle. You wanna watch cartoons at the same time?”</p>
<p>“Paw patrol?”</p>
<p>She leant forward slightly to grab the remote off of the coffee table in front of them, turning on the tv and going over to Netflix.</p>
<p>“Paw patrol? Okay. Come here baby.</p>
<p>She sat back against the arm of the couch, and gestured for Colson to get closer. He happily moved over and layed down right next to her, resting the side of his face on her stomach so he could still see the screen.</p>
<p>She pressed play for the first episode, and then her hand made its way to Colson’s hair, gently running through it.</p>
<p>Colson was immediately fixated on the show, the colourful animations completely captivated his mind, and he wouldn’t look away. His favourite character was Rocky, as he had notified Megan, and a small smile overtook his features every time he was on screen.</p>
<p>Megan was obviously not interested by paw patrol, but she could make do. It was okay anyways, her baby’s happiness was her top priority, and he seemed to really like it. </p>
<p>She noticed him getting a little bit smaller as time went on, his thumb eventually ending up in his mouth. It was a good thing though, it meant he was relaxing more, letting his mind slip further away from reality. She slowly got his paci out from her pocket and offered it to him. He looked up at her and took it, but a blush covered his face, almost like he hadn’t realised his thumb was there at all.</p>
<p>“You okay? You havin’ fun?”</p>
<p>He nodded. Megan just smiled, letting him get back to the episode.</p>
<p>_____________</p>
<p>They must’ve watched paw patrol for over an hour before Colson said anything else, he was just having a good time, giggling away at the childish jokes and obsessing over Rocky. </p>
<p>Megan was so soft for him, she just could not comprehend how perfect they were for each other. He was such a good little, and even though it had only been a few weeks, she just loved him. He loved her too.</p>
<p>“Mama.” He eventually said, turning his face to look up at her.</p>
<p>“Yeah, baby?”</p>
<p>He stared into her eyes for a second, not speaking. Megan figured that he was probably thinking through what he wanted to say, his brain working a little slow. </p>
<p>“Bottle?”</p>
<p>Megan had to stop herself from cooing,  his little voice was her new favourite thing, due to the soft tone and higher pitch along with his slight lisp, he was so perfect. She gently nodded, still holding that eye contact.</p>
<p>“Of course bub. You gonna come help me?”</p>
<p>He frantically nodded his head. She slowly stood up, untangling her body from his, and they walked left down the corridor towards the kitchen. She helped him to sit up on the counter, knowing he’d follow her around otherwise. </p>
<p>He sat nicely with dino, while Megan got a bottle from the cabinet and filled it up with almond milk. She went back over to him once it was in the microwave, planting a kiss on his forehead. </p>
<p>“You okay?”</p>
<p>“Mhm.”</p>
<p>He pulled her a little closer, hiding his face in her shoulder and wrapping his arms around her. She hugged him back, always happy to be close. And there’s not much else to do while waiting for the microwave. She had a suspicion that Colson was getting even smaller, the bottle was a good indicator, but now his short or non-verbal responses? He was definitely nearing his usual mental age.</p>
<p>“you getting smaller on me, baby boy?“</p>
<p>He quietly whined with embarrassment, again not verbally responding. </p>
<p>“Hm? It’s okay, I promise. Your mommy loves you.”</p>
<p>“Good boy?” There it was again, he was always looking for reassurance in this headspace. Megan knew he was insecure deep down, and it showed what he was little, but it absolutely broke her heart. Of course he was a good boy, but he always doubted himself.</p>
<p>The microwave was finished at this point, but that wasn’t her main concern. </p>
<p>“Colson, look at me.” She brought his face up to meet his eyes, and although they were hazy and unfocused, she knew he was listening. “you are such a a good boy. You’re always so sweet and so kind for me. I think you’re the best boy, okay? I promise.”</p>
<p>He nodded, but was reluctant to let go when Megan tried to pull away to get his milk. </p>
<p>“I just need to get your bottle baby. Then we can go cuddle on the couch again.”</p>
<p>This seemed to be a good enough compromise, so let her go, still staying up on the counter for the time being. Megan went and grabbed his bottle, quickly checking that it was still the right temperature. It was good, so she helped Colson get back down, and they walked back through to the couch.  </p>
<p>She sat back where she was before, letting Colson come and lay next to her again, but he was on his back this time so he could drink. He curled up as small as he could get next to her, and the only way she could think of to describe it was like a puppy, all tiny and cuddly. </p>
<p>“Look at you, sweet boy.” Her thoughts came out of her mouth, and another blush dusted Colson’s cheeks. She grabbed his bottle from the table, and held it while she gently took his paci. He clearly didn’t like this part, and his small grumbles of protest were soon drowned out by Megan’s voice. “Hey, you cant have your bottle and your paci, it doesn’t work like that bub.” </p>
<p>He just shifted slightly beside her, letting her take it, he was getting a little impatient. Megan switched the hand that she held his bottle in, and brought in up to his mouth, letting him start drinking it. </p>
<p>She immediately felt him completely relax beside her, all of the tension leaving his body, and times like these really made her think of how beneficial this was for both of them. </p>
<p>He was always so happy after he aged up, and even though he was little for probably an equal amount of time that he was big, it was so worth it. He was able to get so much more work done, and not feel stressed doing it. Knowing he would always have that escape at the end of the day, or whenever he needed it, was what kept him going. Obviously, he has an extremely busy life and being a person with bad anxiety and depression makes it even worse, Colson hated that he regressed so often, but deep down he knew he wouldn’t survive without it.</p>
<p>During the few weeks that they had been doing this together, Megan realised that it helped her just as much as it did him. She needed an outlet too, and when she looked after Colson, that was her escape, just like it was his. When she was with him, and just him, they could forget about the world together. They could just both be themselves, and get away from the doubt, judgement, and hate of others.</p>
<p>Being with little Colson reminded her of when her kids where babies, and she loved it.</p>
<p>She just watched him for five minutes, changing the angle of the bottle occasionally so he could carry on drinking it, and listening to the small breaths he took through his nose. He looked so peaceful with his eyes shut, blocking out the rest of the world. </p>
<p>Megan really couldn’t understand why life had been so hard on him, starting from when he was a literal child. He’d been through so much, and it had clearly took its toll on him over the years. She was just to happy that he had found this outlet, even though it isn’t the most normal coping mechanism, there’s a lot worse things he could be doing. She knew he had used those bad coping mechanisms before, and she was just happy that he’d finally found one that worked, or at least mostly.</p>
<p>He had finished it pretty quickly, but hadn’t fallen asleep like usual, he just stared up at her, with curious eyes, while she put his paci back in his mouth.</p>
<p>“God, I love you so much.” She told him, leaning over to kiss him on the forehead. He didn’t reply verbally, but instead reached his hand over to the side of her shirt and grabbed it tightly, like he was trying to communicate that he loved her too. </p>
<p>Megan was now a little stuck on what to do with him, he was a literal baby, and she didn’t have anything to entertain him. Honestly, she thought he would’ve fallen asleep with his bottle, but clearly that didn’t happen, so now she was at a dead end in a way. </p>
<p>She pulled her phone out of her pocket, trying to be quick, the last thing she wanted was for Colson to think she was ignoring him. She typed ‘how to entertain a baby’ into the search bar, and felt a little guilty doing so, she felt like she should know him well enough. But the thing was, they hadn’t been doing this for a long time, and he usually just slept when he was this tiny, so she hadn’t really been in this situation before.</p>
<p>The results told her to hold him, speak to him, play music, and hold eye contact. They made sense, it would just stimulate his brain for a while, until he would most likely fall asleep. </p>
<p>She turned the tv from Netflix to Spotify, and shuffled one of Colson’s playlists. She picked one of his calmest ones, knowing most of the songs on there too. He had just been watching her the whole time, seeming to be absolutely mesmerised by her, baby Colson was the cutest little boy. </p>
<p>Megan turned back around to him, hooking her hands under his armpits, and pulling him against her. He snuggled up to her, still holding his dino after all this time.</p>
<p>She remembered that her phone said to maintain eye contact, but it didn’t didn’t seem to be something that was happening with Colson nosing the crook of her neck. That didn’t mean she couldn’t talk to him, though, even if he wouldn’t say anything back.</p>
<p>She spoke to him for a while, whispering small nothings into his ear, telling him about anything that came to mind. She knew he couldn’t really understand what she was talking about, but he seemed to enjoy the sound of her soft voice.</p>
<p>“I love you, sweet boy. You’re the most perfect little for me, mommy loves you,  Casie loves you, Pete loves you. So many people bub. Rookie, Slim, Dub, Baze, Ashley, Aj, and everyone else. You’re the best boy.” </p>
<p>She rambled on for what felt like hours, telling him about the pure love that everyone had for him. He wasn’t taking all of it in, but he was definitely listening. </p>
<p>After what must’ve been 20 minutes, she felt him relax further, his breath evening out. He was finally falling asleep, Megan knew he would eventually, and it was no wonder really, he’d had a stressful morning. And along with that, he never woke up early. He usually got up at around 11 and it was only a little after 10, so sleep was practically inevitable. </p>
<p>He stayed pressed up against her, and she didn’t have the heart to move him, she enjoyed hearing his little puffs of air, and the way his paci bobbed in his mouth. He was perfect. </p>
<p>As he slept, Megan pulled out her phone again, searching for some toys for when he was this tiny. She didn’t want him to get bored, and she knew he was someone who needed a lot of mental stimulation, big and little.   </p>
<p>After looking through google for a little while, she realised there wasn’t a whole lot of things for babies around this age, but she managed to find a couple.</p>
<p>She found him a little butterfly toy. It was one of the soft ones that had different textures all over it, and small plastic rings on its feet. She figured that it would work, knowing he didn’t get super tiny very often and it wouldn’t take a whole lot to interest him. She also got him a couple of teethers, knowing he always had to have something in his mouth in headspace, and anything was better than his thumb. </p>
<p>Once she had placed the order, again to her house, she just cuddled him. She loved times like these, the calm silence of the empty house, away from any form of stress. She gently rubbed circles on his bare back, as small smile appearing on her face as she thought about him telling her about his ‘colours’ earlier.</p>
<p>He was so calm in her hold, and although he was heavy, Megan had grown to appreciate his weight on her. She was still mad about not being able to carry him, though, it made her feel bad that he still had to worry about that, even when he was in his tiniest headspace, she wanted to take that away. But the problem was that no one could carry him really, maybe baze could, but it would just be a struggle, and he didn’t even know Colson was an age regressor. It was annoying.</p>
<p>They were kinda starting to establish a routine with Colson’s little space, after these past few weeks. Colson would go to the studio in the daytime, work, and then make an excuse when the boys said they were going out, instead staying home with Megan to be small.</p>
<p>It occasionally didn’t work, like today, and they had to work around that. But Colson couldn’t control when his mind took over, and he needed to get away from it all, so Megan couldn’t be mad. </p>
<p>She knew they would get found out eventually, it was starting to get a little suspicious when he never really went out or anything. Megan just hoped that they could tell the boys themselves, instead of being caught. That would make Colson extremely anxious, and it could mess him up a little. He needed to tell them when he was ready to.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>She must’ve laid there with him for an hour before he started to wake up. He shifted around for a few seconds, and Megan continued rubbing his back, not knowing if he would go back to sleep. He didn’t, instead pulling away from her slightly to take his paci out of his mouth. </p>
<p>“Good morning.” He spoke, and she was shocked to hear that his tone had returned to normal, he was big again. He had gone from the headspace of practically a newborn to a 30 year old that quickly, it had never happened before.</p>
<p>“Morning. You okay?” She asked, trying to process that he had aged up so quickly. He usually took at least a couple hours before he was operating normally again, but he seemed completely big.</p>
<p>He nodded. “Yeah, I’m okay. What happened? We’re at your house?”</p>
<p>“You called me, and asked me to come get you. You regressed overnight, and were scared one of the boys were gonna find you, because I wasn’t there.”</p>
<p>“Oh shit. I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“Don’t say sorry. You’re fine.”</p>
<p>“But I made you come get me, you were probably sleeping.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I was sleeping, but I would’ve woken up anyways. And you’re my little boy, I’m your mommy, I’d do anything for you.”</p>
<p>“Stopppp. That’s embarrassing.” He whined, his face going red.</p>
<p>“No its nottttt,” she imitated him, “you’re my little babyyy.”</p>
<p>He hid his face in his hands, but Megan could still see the dusty pink tips of his ears. She leant over, closing the space between them, and gently pulled his hands away, quickly kissing him.</p>
<p>“How small did I get?”</p>
<p>“You were pretty small, Colson. Like maybe a couple months? I don’t know but you were tiny, like completely nonverbal and you just wanted to be held. But baby Colson is so cute.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry. I fucking hate that I put that responsibility on you, I’m your boyfriend, not your child. You don’t have to look after me if you don’t want to, Megan. I feel like I’m forcing you.”</p>
<p>The change in his mood slightly stunned her, but she rushed to reassure him that he wasn’t forcing her to do anything. She loved it.</p>
<p>“Colson, stop saying sorry. I fucking promise that I love you, I love this. You’re not forcing me in any way at all, I love looking after you, and being your mommy. Please stop doubting yourself.”</p>
<p>“Okay...okay. I don’t mean to, it’s just hard for me to understand why you like me when I’m like that. I’m a grown man, and I act like a fucking baby half the time. It’s weird.”</p>
<p>“It’s not weird at all, okay? You need it, and I love it, so it works out.”</p>
<p>“You love it? But why?”</p>
<p>“Why? Because it’s an escape, for both of us. You regress, and get to get away from everything, and I get to get away with you. When you’re small, it’s peaceful, we don’t have the whole world watching everything we do.”</p>
<p>“I guess you’re right, I’ve never thought about it like that.”</p>
<p>“Mhm, it’s not a bad thing that you’re a little, maybe a little strange, but not bad. I love it anyways, so even if no one else does, which they will, I’ll be here forever.”</p>
<p>“I wanna tell them soon. Before tour starts.” He said quietly, almost like he was afraid to bring it up.</p>
<p>He changed that topic pretty quickly, his mind now switching away from himself, and back onto the people around him. </p>
<p>But this was good news, he wouldn’t have to go on tour all alone, without any help if he regressed. It was a relief for Megan, she knew she couldn’t be there the whole time.</p>
<p>“You do? Okay. How are you thinking of telling them all?”</p>
<p>“Um, I’m not sure. I don’t wanna do it in person but I also feel like if we don’t, they won’t understand. Like, they might wanna ask questions and stuff.”</p>
<p>Megan believed this reasoning, but also knew he was nervous about the rejection. If anyone didn’t like it, he was going to have to face that in person, deal with them telling him to his face. </p>
<p>“We don’t have to do it in person, I think it would be best, but if you don’t want to you don’t have to. If you do decide to do it there, I’ll be with you the whole time, I can help to explain, and it’ll be fine.”</p>
<p>He stayed quiet for a few seconds, too many thoughts racing through his mind, until finally making his decision.</p>
<p>“Okay. We can do it in person.”</p>
<p>“Yeah? When are you thinking? this is all up to you, there’s no rush.”</p>
<p>Tour started in around a month, so there wasn’t any need for him to do it right away, they had enough time to think it through. Clearly, Colson wasn’t thinking like that, his impulsiveness showing through.</p>
<p>“As soon as I can, like this week? I just wanna get it done with, and that way they can get to know little me beforehand. It’ll be less awkward.”</p>
<p>“You’re right about that. How do you feel about it all right now?”</p>
<p>“I’m neutral, I think. Definitely fucking terrified about it all, the fact that this could possibly ruin everything we’ve all done together and all of that stuff. But also, I know that they’ll understand that I need this, and if they don’t at the beginning, hopefully they’ll see it after getting to know that side of me. I don’t like the face that I have to regress to stay mentally healthy, but I genuinely can’t help it anymore. I need it, and it’s getting harder to suppress it, so I’m just hoping they can understand.”</p>
<p>“They will. I promise you, they will. You’ve been with them for so long, Colson, they are your brothers. If they don’t accept it, I’ll be here anyways.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I hope they will. And like, I’m not saying they have to be involved with it, they don’t have to play with me or give me bottles, or anything like that. I just want them to know so they don’t thing I’m fucking insane, you know?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I understand. I’m excited for them to love baby Colson just as much as I do though, I have a feeling that they will, it’s just too hard not to.”</p>
<p>“Stopppp, it’s embarrassing.” He whined for the second time, not used to accepting these types of compliments.</p>
<p>“Okay, okay. I’ll stop. I love you.”</p>
<p>“I love you too.”</p>
<p>There were a lot of mixed emotions in the room. Happiness, anxiety, love, fear and so many more things floated around them. But one thing they knew for sure, was that they’d always have each other.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Breaking the news</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Colson finally tells everyone about his regression.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hiii! I’m sorry this took so long again, but it was my birthday and my phone broke, so it took longer than expected. I hope you enjoy it :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Colson decided to do it on Tuesday night. </p>
<p>He and Megan had both put a lot of thought into what was going to happen, not wanting to rush straight into it and mess it all up, but also not wanting to drag it out too much before tour started.</p>
<p>It worked out the best that night because everyone was free, so they would all be there at the house, and at the same time. That rarely happened, so it was lucky, it made Colson feel less anxious, the fact that he wouldn’t have to repeat words that he hated so much to everyone separately. He just wanted it to be over. But it was finally time, time for Colson to tell everyone his biggest secret, one that he had kept for as long as he could remember.</p>
<p>He wasn’t just telling everyone, though,  it was only the certain few that he felt most comfortable with. Rook, slim, baze, dub, ace, aj and Ashley. Just the people that would need to know, the ones that could help him if he did slip on the road, especially because Megan wouldn’t be there for most of it.</p>
<p>And he hated that he had to tell them, hated that he had to tell anyone at all. He wished that he could just have normal coping mechanisms, ones that didn’t take up half of his life and affect the way he interacted with the people around him. </p>
<p>But, unfortunately, that just wasn’t how it worked for him. He needed this regression, and it had gotten to the point with his life being so stressful and chaotic, where it was an almost constant thing. His mind was almost always on the edge of regressing, and it was a struggle. Being a 30 year old celebrity, with a daughter of his own, it was a difficult situation when his mind was always wanting him to be a little boy again.</p>
<p>It had been years of this, having to hide everything about it. Crying alone in his bunk while trying not to regress, replacing little space with pills, and just overall being in a bad place.</p>
<p> He had to start telling some people about it all, or things were just going to keep getting harder.</p>
<p>____________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The day was difficult, he had woken up big, but his mind was cloudier than usual. There had been a haze of anxiety over his being since he had texted the house groupchat the night before, telling them all to ‘meet in the living room at like 7pm tomorrow. I need to tell you all something.’ </p>
<p>It was just terrifying for him, he couldn’t wrap his head around it, the fact that he was going to tell everyone that he was a little. He fucking hated it, but there was no avoiding it, he just hoped that they would all be accepting. </p>
<p>The previous night had been no easier, he’d spent it crying into Megan’s chest, distraught with what would happen if they didn’t like him anymore after finding out. Colson’s mind had always been good at overthinking, this time providing him with thoughts of them telling the press, letting the world know, ruining his life, and leaving him in the dirt.</p>
<p>Megan coaxed him through what seemed like a slight panic attack, whispering sweet reassurances into his ear, and rubbing his back until the sobbing died away, leaving her with a soft, weepy boy on her hands. </p>
<p>It hurt her to see him like that, so scared of any hate or rejection, but it was also good that he was finally showing that vulnerable side of himself. She was so infatuated with the way his mind worked, it was so beautifully complex, and she couldn’t wait to have him completely figured out.</p>
<p>So that Tuesday morning, he eventually pulled himself out of bed, taking small steps to the closet to grab an outfit, but soon realising that Megan had already laid one out for him across the back of a small chair they kept in there. A small smile appeared on his face, thinking about all the little things she did to show her love, it made him melt. </p>
<p>She was still asleep, completely passed out beside where he had just been, but looking over at her, knowing that she had taken the time to pick out something that he’d like, it made him want to cry happy tears for once. </p>
<p>He picked up the pink shirt, after putting on deodorant, and pulled it over his head. He then switched his shorts for the black cargo pants she had left out. </p>
<p>Once he was finished getting ready, he decided to stay upstairs instead of going down like he had originally planned, just wanting the security of his room a little longer. He walked back over to the bed and sat right next to Megan in sheets. Even though she wasn’t awake, her presence helped to calm his anxious thoughts. </p>
<p>He wasn’t planning on doing too much during the day, and even if he wanted to, he didn’t think he could. He just wanted to gather all of his thoughts, make sure that he was ready for the evening.</p>
<p>He decided that if would be better to wait until later to tell them all, knowing that it was going to be some big news. He didn’t want to tell them earlier and ruin their whole day thinking about it, it could distract them from other things they needed to do. If he told them later, they could all sleep on it and have some time to think.</p>
<p>Most people would think that it’s not that big of a deal, that he’s overreacting, but it wasn’t a small thing to him. This was something that he’d hidden away for years on end, a thing that most people don’t know exists, you can’t blame him for being scared. This could be the end of so many things for him, just from a way of coping. It made him feel physically sick.</p>
<p>He sat there in his head for what felt like hours, just sorting through every possible outcome that could happen, finding an answer to every possible question. He wanted to be ready, no matter what happened. He was a super sensitive guy, to an extent that no one realised, and even the smallest comments could have him completely broken for days. He just wanted to run away from it all.</p>
<p>Eventually, Megan woke up. She fidgeted around for a few seconds, before her eyes flickered open. She sat up slightly beside him, reaching over to run her hand through his blonde hair.</p>
<p>“Good morning, col.” she spoke with a reassuring tone, she could already sense that he wasn’t feeling too good. It hurt that he was so worried about all of this, she just wanted to take all of her boy’s pain away, give him that sanctuary that he needed so desperately.</p>
<p>“Hi” he replied. His short response was what confirmed that previous observation for her, and the fact that he wasn’t super present. She could see his shifty eyes and shaky hands as he sat there, his legs pulled up to his chest, almost like he was on the verge of another panic attack. </p>
<p>She gently pulled his hand into hers, wordlessly communicating that she was there for him. He almost pulled away, too caught up in his thoughts to realise that it was just Megan. It was only his mommy. He was okay with her.</p>
<p>“Fuck. I’m so sorry.” He brought his other hand up to rub at his sleepy eyes, having been kept awake most of the night with these same thoughts. “I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“Hey, no, you’re fine. Are you okay?” She wanted him to share these thoughts with her, not keep them all bottled up, like a bomb bound to explode. It never ended well when he did that, even more so now because of the sheer amount of nervousness he was feeling. “Please talk to me, colson. I just want to help you.”</p>
<p>“It’s...” he started, staring at his knees and keeping his eyes down. “Fuck. I’m just scared.” His voice broke as he said it, and Megan’s heart broke along with it.</p>
<p>“Col, can I hug you?” She asked just to make sure, knowing that he was already a little bit overwhelmed by the mannerisms she had begun to know. He nodded, not waiting for her to come to him. He turned over slightly, curling up into her side. She wrapped her arms around him and gently rubbed his back as she started talking.</p>
<p>“Listen to me, okay? You are one of the best people I’ve ever met, maybe the best. You have been through so much in your life, Colson, but you’ve also helped so many people along the way. This is a way that you cope, yeah? So they should be able to see that, they’ll most likely not care at all. If they do, it will probably just be the confusion, and all we’ll have to do is explain it. We know that it’s not the most normal or common thing, but when they start to understand, it’ll be totally fine. Okay?”</p>
<p>“I guess. It’s still scary.”</p>
<p>“I know it is, col. But they all love you, that’s not gonna change.”</p>
<p>“I’m being such a pussy, Megan. I’m supposed to be a man.”</p>
<p>“You’re okay. You are a man, one of the most manly men, but sometimes you’re my baby and that’s okay too. I understand your feelings on this, I’m scared too, but I’ve got you no matter what. I’m always here.”</p>
<p>“I love you, mommy.”</p>
<p>He wasn’t little, not at all, but the name was comforting to him in any headspace. That name just reminded him that she was there to look after him, she loved him. </p>
<p>He found himself calling her that a whole lot more, mostly in his head, but it was still a little weird. </p>
<p>Megan definitely didn’t mind at all, if that was a name that he liked, there was no need for him to not use it, even if he wasn’t small. </p>
<p>“I love you too, baby.”</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>She held him like that for a while, just listening to his breaths next to her ear, until eventually she could hear his stomach rumbling.</p>
<p>“You want some breakfast, col?”</p>
<p>He slightly wriggled in her hold, but didn’t make any real effort to move anywhere.</p>
<p>“Hmm?”</p>
<p>“I can hear your stomach, bubba. Are you hungry yet?”</p>
<p>He was a little hungry, but if he said he was, she would make them get up. That’s not what he wanted, he wanted to stay right there, he was still feeling pretty vulnerable, and he just wanted the comfort for a little longer.</p>
<p>“No, I’m fine.”</p>
<p>Megan could see right through his lie, she knew he was. </p>
<p>“Are you lying to me baby?”</p>
<p>“No...I promise.”</p>
<p>“Then why is your stomach making noises, huh?”</p>
<p>He didn’t have an answer, and he could feel his face warm up against her shoulder. She always knew.</p>
<p>“But...I wanna cuddle.”</p>
<p>There he went again, melting her heart like he did every other day. She smiled, her hand reaching up to play with his hair again. </p>
<p>“You gotta eat though, we can cuddle again straight after.” </p>
<p>After a couple seconds of silence, he gave in.</p>
<p>“Okay, fine. But only if I can have waffles.”</p>
<p>“You can have waffles, baby. Let me get dressed really quick, and then we can go get them.”</p>
<p>He nodded, reluctantly letting her get out of bed and walk over to the drawer that he’d previously designated to her. She quickly threw on a simple outfit of sweatpants and a shirt while he waited for her in the blankets, scrolling through Twitter to make the time go faster.</p>
<p>She was done within a couple minutes, and they made their way downstairs. She sat him at the island, and went over to the cabinet to grab the waffle maker, plugging it in on the counter.</p>
<p>She made him his waffles, and one for herself, and they sat together to eat. At this point, the rest of the house was staring to wake up around them. Rook had come to make himself him cereal, and baze was playing random riffs on his keyboard in the living room. It was all normal stuff for their house, and no one seemed weird about the message the night before, which made him feel a little bit better.</p>
<p>Everyone got up eventually, a couple of them left to go see people or do other things for a couple hours, but Megan and Colson were definitely staying home. She knew they both had things that they could do, but she didn’t want to put anymore stress on her already overwhelmed boy, this was going to be a chill day, just what he needed.</p>
<p>They made their way into the living room eventually, both going to sit on the biggest couch in the centre. There were a couple others in there too, but there wasn’t a big acknowledgment as they came in. </p>
<p>“Good morning.” Baze said, quickly glancing up from where he was now working on his laptop. </p>
<p>They both replied with a small ‘morning,’ and then turned on the tv, planning on watching random movies to pass the time. Colson once again curled into Megan, not forgetting the promise of more cuddles after breakfast. </p>
<p>___________</p>
<p>The rest of the morning and afternoon flew by, and soon enough it was nearing 7pm. The two had spent the rest of the day watching movies and quietly talking between themselves once everyone was gone. Small conversations, reassurances and lots of love had been shared between them. Colson was still terrified, but there was no backing out now.</p>
<p>Almost everyone had congregated in the living room once they had gotten home from wherever they had been, so the only person not there was rook. Colson got up from his spot on the couch, having not started the conversation yet, and yelled upstairs to him.</p>
<p>“Ay, rookie! Come down here, I need to tell you something.”</p>
<p>He was trying to keep his composure, just focusing on staying calm, but he could really feel the dull anxiety spiking again. Even though he wasn’t even in the room with everyone else, his hands were shaking and he could feel himself starting to sweat.</p>
<p>Once he could hear rook coming back down, he turned back into the living room, and sat back on the couch as close to Megan as humanly possible. He had suddenly become hyper-aware<br/>
of his surroundings, and it wasn’t helping the stress at all. He could hear everyone’s breathing, see everything that they were doing around him, and he could feel so many sensations all over his own body. </p>
<p>The only thing keeping him grounded in that moment was the feeling of Megan’s thigh touching his own. He knew that she was right there beside him, that she wasn’t going anywhere, and he could tell that if he didn’t have that in the moment, things would be going very differently already.</p>
<p>Rook came in and sat in a free space on another couch, in between Ashley and baze. Everyone was just spread around the room, waiting for whatever Colson wanted to say. </p>
<p>“Right, I’m here. What did you wanna say, Colson?”</p>
<p>This was it. This was something he’d wanted to say for years, something he’d been so ashamed of for as long as he could remember. And now he was telling them all. There was no backing out now.</p>
<p>Megan grabbed his hand in hers, gently running her thumb along his skin, just trying to communicate that it was all okay. </p>
<p>“Um, well...I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a while. It’s kinda important to me in a way, and it’s really scary to tell you guys. I don’t know what you’re gonna think of it.”</p>
<p>There was all eyes on him now, clearly no one had expected this to be about him personally, they had probably thought it would be about tour or something along those lines. He could see the look of confusion on a few faces, but there was also a mix of sympathy, that made him feel a little better.</p>
<p>“Wait, does Megan know?” Slim asked from across the room. There was no clear emotion on his face, but it didn’t seem to be negative. Colson realised he was overthinking again, it was just a simple question.</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah she does.” Their hands were still intertwined, but she didn’t choose to say anything yet.</p>
<p>“Okay,” he continued, “I’m gonna give a little bit of an explanation first, just so you don’t think I’m completely fucking weird, then you can ask any questions that you have, because you’ll definitely have some.”</p>
<p>They all nodded, and he took that as his queue to continue. He was proud of how calm he had been so far, aside from his voice shaking, he hadn’t freaked out yet. </p>
<p>“So you guys all know how fucked up I am in the head. All my anxiety, depression, you know all that shit. So pretty much, I need ways to cope. And you’ve all seen some of that, the drugs, the alcohol, the self harm. But those aren’t good things, those are bad. So there’s also another thing I do, and I wouldn’t say it’s ‘good’ but it’s definitely better than those other things, but it’s also kinda weird.”</p>
<p>It was silent, no one was speaking, they all just looked at him expectantly. He waited a few seconds for any reaction, but there wasn’t much, still just faces of confusion.</p>
<p>Ace broke the silence after a few seconds. “What is it, dude?” </p>
<p>He could feel himself shake, and hear his heartbeat in his ears. He was so scared. </p>
<p>Megan leaned over slightly to whisper to him, switching the hand she was holding his with, so she could rub his back. “You’re okay, you got it.”</p>
<p>He nodded, taking a deep breath like Megan had taught him to when he was anxious. He could do it, he was okay.</p>
<p>“Um, so it’s called age regression.” His voice broke as he said it, but he did it. Most of the stress was over, he had told them. All he had to do now was see their reactions.</p>
<p>He looked up from where his eyes had dropped, seeing mostly confusion still, but two faces just looked surprised.</p>
<p>Baze was one of them, he was also the first to speak. “You’re a little?”</p>
<p>“...Mhm. I’m sorry, I know it’s fucking weird.”</p>
<p>“No dude, that’s cool. I just didn’t expect it, you don’t really seem like that type.”</p>
<p>“Really? Bro, how do you even know what it is? I expected everyone to be confused as fuck.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know, I just do. But it’s cool man, you’re not weird. As long as you’re staying healthy.”</p>
<p>He smiled, at least one person was fine with it. That was a start.</p>
<p>“Do you wanna explain? I have no clue what’s going on.” Ace said. </p>
<p>“Oh yeah, okay. So basically, it’s in the name, ‘age regression,’ I mentally get younger. So I’m physically 30, right? But when I regress, I can get all the way down to like a baby. I know it sounds super strange, but it’s a trauma response.”</p>
<p>It was quiet again for a few seconds, and he and Megan could both practically see the gears turning. It was almost a little funny.</p>
<p>“So you act like a baby?” It was a classic rook question, he wasn’t good with big words, so ‘regression’ didn’t really register with him.</p>
<p>“Not really, it’s not acting. My brain like actually gets younger, I cant speak and shit. Like I’m a baby, just in an adult body.”</p>
<p>“Right. Okay. I’m not weirded out, I’m just a little confused. I love you anyways, bro.” </p>
<p>“Love you too.”</p>
<p>That was another one, it was going good. Megan’s smile showed how proud she was, he was doing so good.</p>
<p>“Are the rest of you cool with it? I mean, as long as you don’t hate me, I guess. I just wanted you all to know. Do you have more questions? You can ask anything.”</p>
<p>There was a chorus of ‘its okay’s and other similar answers, that was it. He had done it, it was all good.</p>
<p>The amount of relief he felt was insane, they didn’t think he was a freak. The only person who still looked a little sceptical was slim, but that was okay. There was time for everyone to warm up to the idea.</p>
<p>“Why did Megan know before us?” </p>
<p>“Uh, well-“ he was about to answer when baze cut him off.</p>
<p>“Wait! Are you his mommy? That’s cute as fuck.”</p>
<p>He blushed a deep red, as Megan nodded. “Yeah, that’s my baby boy.”</p>
<p>Smiles covered most faces now, all good friends enjoyed seeing the other embarrassed, it lightened up the feeling in the room. </p>
<p>“To explain,” she carried on, “I look after him when he gets little. When he’s in that headspace, it’s not really the same relationship, I’m his caregiver.”</p>
<p>“Is it, like, some kinky ass shit?” That was another classic response from dub, of course his mid immediately went there.</p>
<p>Again, he blushed. Megan did too, but she understood where the question came from, it was the obvious explanation, but not actually correct.</p>
<p>“Colson, do you wanna explain?”</p>
<p>“Sure...so no, it’s not a kink. Everyone knows I’m into some weird shit, but this is completely different from that. This is a coping mechanism, it’s completely non-sexual. There is a thing called age play, and that can be sexual, but I’m not into that. This is an escape for me.”</p>
<p>He nodded, almost feeling a little stupid for thinking that.</p>
<p>The next one was from Ashley, she hadn’t spoken yet, but the small smile on her face said that she was fine with it all.</p>
<p>“When did you start regressing?”</p>
<p>“Well, a long time ago. I think I’ve done it since I was like 17, but back then I didn’t know what it was. The first time I got fully little was like 5 years ago, and I’ve been doing it since.”</p>
<p>“So can you control it, or does it just happen?”</p>
<p>“I used to be able to stop it, but recently I’ve been relying on it over drugs, so it’s getting harder to. Like, at the start, when I was really young I didn’t know what was happening and I couldn’t help it, but for the past couple years I could control when I did it and that type of thing. And now it’s kinda going back to how it was before. Obviously I know what’s happening now, but I cant really plan or control it at all, my brain just does it when I get too stressed.”</p>
<p>“Right, okay.”</p>
<p>“I know that’s it’s not the most normal thing, but I just had to tell you all so you know what’s happening when I do eventually get little around you.”</p>
<p>“How have we never noticed before?” Rook asked. It was a good question, something Colson regularly asked himself, he was still amazed that they hadn’t ever been suspicious or asked anything in the past years.</p>
<p>“To be honest, I don’t really know. I have been pretty good at hiding it, just because I thought you would all hate me, but I still don’t know how you never figured it out.”</p>
<p>“That’s crazy, dude.”</p>
<p>Just sitting in the midst of it all, Megan realised how much she loved all of Colsons family. The way they had treated this with so much respect, so much understanding. The lack of judgment, she was so thankful that they’d all taken it well, if they didn’t it would’ve broken him. She just sat there with a big smile, so proud of her boy.</p>
<p>“So Megan,” baze began, “you gotta tell us all the embarrassing little Colson stories.”</p>
<p>“Yeah? Am I allowed to, col?” She wanted to ask just to make sure. It wasn’t a big deal, but this day had been stressful for him, and she didn’t want to do anything he didn’t want.</p>
<p>“Yea, it’s fine. This is actually gonna be interesting for me too because I don’t really remember anything when I get little.”</p>
<p>It was all smiles in the room now, the usual joking manor was back, and he couldn’t be happier. They still loved him! They didn’t mind at all!</p>
<p>“Okay, there’s not that many because I haven’t been your mommy for long, but I have a couple.”</p>
<p>“Okay, okay. Go on then.” Baze was way too excited about it all, it was almost cute to Colson. He was still a little confused as to why he knew what a little was in the first place, but at least he was accepting of it.</p>
<p>“Okay so one time he got really tiny, like maybe one or two, and you wouldn’t let me not touch you. Like every single time I got up, you just started crying. It went on for like 3 hours, you just wanted me right there, holding you. It was so cute though.”</p>
<p>His face was bright red at the end of it, but he couldn’t stop himself from laughing along with the rest of them. It felt good to be back to the normal jokes, even if he was the cause of them, he was just happy it had all gone well.</p>
<p>“And then that other time you got stuck in your shirt because you wanted to see your tattoos. Did I ever tell you that you call them your ‘colours’ when you’re little?”</p>
<p>He had hidden his face in his hands at this point, but everyone could see him shake with laughter. That was a good change from how he’d been shaking earlier. </p>
<p>“No you never told me. I cant believe that, what the fuck? ‘Colours??’” </p>
<p>She nodded, still laughing along with all of them, and Colson scoffed. He was shocked by little him, but at least he sounded cute.</p>
<p>“And then last, this ones not really embarrassing, just adorable. That time where I got you your new stuff, and you got your stuffie. You were so cute, you were just holding it and stroking its fur, you were obsessed for like 3 days straight. Then you named him dino.” </p>
<p>Once again it was just love in the room, no one was being weird about it at all, and Colson was super thankful for the way this had turned out. He just felt so loved.</p>
<p>“Oh my god. I’m not even gonna lie, I fucking love dino. Dinos great.”</p>
<p>“Wait, I wanna see dino.” </p>
<p>“Rook, I’m sure you’ll get to see dino pretty regularly. Just wait for him to get small, he brings the damn thing everywhere.” Megan’s face showed that she loved it really. Everyone could see that she really loved little Colson, so they were excited to see him.</p>
<p>“Wait, that’s something I wanted to ask you guys,” Colson said, “how do y’all want to meet me? I guess. My main concern is making you guys uncomfortable, so what do you think would work best?”</p>
<p>The silence from earlier had returned, only this time it wasn’t filled with brain crushing tension, more just thinking.</p>
<p>“I’d say you just come down here, I don’t think any of us will be uncomfortable, it’s more you being scared. You can make all the decisions, like if you wanna talk to us or say hi and all that shit.”</p>
<p>He nodded along to Ashley’s words, and when everyone agreed with her. If that’s how they wanted to do it, that’s how it would be done.</p>
<p>And that was pretty much it. </p>
<p>They stayed downstairs for a couple more hours, just chatting to everyone, going over how things were going to be from that point forward.</p>
<p>Everyone knew and understood that things would be different, but that was all okay with them. They told him that they loved him, and a couple hugs were shared, he just felt happy.</p>
<p>Eventually he got tired, to the point that it was hard to hold his eyes open. It wasn’t even that late, maybe 11pm, but it had been a big day. </p>
<p>Megan took him upstairs, after they had said goodnight, and they went to bed almost immediately. He snuggled into her just like any other night, but the ‘I love you’s they shared felt different. </p>
<p>Megan’s was full of pride for her boy. She was so proud that he had told them so well, she had expected him to be way more freaked out, which wouldn’t have been a problem, but he had done so good. She was also just so happy for him, he deserved all of this support after being on his own for so long. </p>
<p>Colsons was filled with happiness, he couldn’t believe that they knew, and they were cool with it. He just felt so good.</p>
<p>They both fell asleep with smiles, too excited about the future. Excited about the tour, but mostly just being able to be open. </p>
<p>For once, Colson wasn’t completely ashamed of being a little.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ty for all the support on this so far but please comment for me! I wanna know if you liked it or not, or if there’s anything you want me to add that could make it better. You could even give me random ideas to try to include in future chapters, just to spice it up. lmk, okay?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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